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Life Lessons from My Mother to My Children

In the fast-paced world of urban corporate life, where 9-5 jobs and metropolitan living are the norm, we often find ourselves reflecting on the values we carry from our upbringing. For parents like us, navigating this urban landscape while raising children is a unique challenge. At Crink, we understand the profound impact of our childhood experiences on our approach to parenthood.

From the way we handle our children's mistakes to our daily communication with them, the roots of our parenting styles can often be traced back to our upbringing. Some of us naturally inherit our parents' methods, while others make a conscious effort to break free from the past. The influence our early environment has on us is undeniable, would you agree?

It's interesting how, growing up, we may not realize just how unique our family dynamics are. We tend to see our family as the standard. It's only as we step out into the world, meeting and interacting with diverse people, that we begin to appreciate the differences. Some of us may even discover, after marriage, that we come from entirely diverse backgrounds, and blending those backgrounds can be a challenge.

Values passed down from my family:

1. The Unspoken Rule: People Were Never a Topic of Discussion in Our Home

In our family, what others possessed or lacked was never a topic of conversation. We never obsessed over the size of someone's house, their attire, the gold the neighbour wore, or the job someone got. Negative discussions like these were simply not part of our household. Consequently, I've never been inclined to compare myself to others or concern myself with what they have. My brain isn't wired to think in those terms.

I'm sure you've encountered people who are overly interested in others, especially during social gatherings. They always seem to discuss people. However, in our family, people were never the primary focus of our conversations.

2. The Absence of Comparison

I was never compared to anyone else during my upbringing. I never had to be as wealthy as someone, behave like a friend, or earn more marks than a classmate. Such comparisons simply didn't exist, and I'm committed to passing on this quality to my own children. This lack of comparison has shielded me from feelings of jealousy or unhealthy competition.

When you compete with others, your peace of mind can suffer, and I've witnessed how this mindset affects people. Those who grew up in households where constant comparisons were made often find themselves comparing their every move to those around them, missing the joy of their unique blessings.

3. A Positive Body Image: The Power of Words

My mother never commented on anyone's physical appearance, including ours. Comments like "she's dark" or "you're slim" were unheard of in our home. I've come to realize that such discussions are all too common when people gather. Even when others would comment on my physique, my mom's response was always reassuring – I had enough food, so there was no need to worry.

In today's world, parents and grandparents often scrutinize the fairness of a child's skin or how they change in colour during outdoor play. This negativity can foster insecurity and create unhealthy mindsets from an incredibly early age.

The Power of Our Parenting

The values and mindsets we pass on to our children are invaluable, and in the hectic world of 9-5 jobs and urban living, they become even more critical. The environment in which they grow, the words they hear – all shape their self-image and their perspective on the world.

Feel free to share the valuable qualities you inherited from your parents and are now instilling in your own children in the comments. Remember, our shared experiences and wisdom can help create a brighter future for our children.

Let's join hands to nurture a better tomorrow.

-With love


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